I have never been so angry and so terrified in all of my life. I just found out that my mom may be losing her other foot. I am also fighting a losing battle to make sure that she is cared for properly. My mom now has two pressure sores. One of the employees told me that it's because my mom is so uncooperative. "We tell her to prop her leg up, and she won't leave it long enough. We tell her she can't sit in her power chair too long, but she won't let us put her in the bed. She's been having a rough day, she was crying and carrying on this morning..."
Now, it's not like everything else wasn't already getting my attention mind you, but my mom is not a person who cries and carries on. I asked her if she had been crying. She said yes, that she had wet the bed that morning and made a terrible mess. I told her it wasn't her fault, that they're supposed to be helping her before it gets to that point. We have both also made it very clear to the staff that she is allergic to the elastic in the briefs, yet they continue to put her in them. By the time I got there on Monday, her legs were burning so bad she was crying out in distress. She's an amputee for crying out loud, if she could do everything herself, she would!
Mom said she needed to go to the bathroom. The aide told her, "just go ahead and wet the bed, it's easier that way." I know that it's very difficult for my mom to breathe when she exerts herself, but that's no excuse to not take her to the bathroom. I watched as my once very independent mother wet the sheets, the urine spreading and quickly soaking her clean underwear and shorts before I could get them out of the way...
You have no idea what it's doing to me to see her like this. When she was at home, I did everything: cooking, physical therapy, dispensing medication, keeping her clean, and also importantly, making sure that she was happy. If she wanted to watch something on TV, or wanted a book, or needed anything, I made sure she had it. Now that her medical needs are beyond my capabilities to handle, I'm watching in horror as she resigns herself to her fate in a place that only cares about her paycheck. There are some employees there that genuinely care about her, but caring about somebody and actually caring for them are two different things.
She's deteriorating. Medicare only pays for a certain amount of physical therapy and the state doesn't pay for any. All of the strength she had gained, she has lost. Her left arm is so weak it is almost useless. When she went into the hospital at the end of March, we never expected that it would be the last time she would ever be in her home again. She has never been away from home for this long. We miss each other very much, and it's killing me to see what's happening to her. Nobody deserves this, but especially not her. My gods mom, I am so very sorry that I have failed you...
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